Sunday, March 31, 2013
It has been a while... my bad.
Alas,
I have not written in awhile. I have not been in the mood. But through new events in my life, new experiences that have happened all around me, and in this new age of technology I have come to the conclusion that maybe some people would like to care about what I write. I may be able to offer some helpful advice so someone. I may offer some humor to someone that was feeling down. This new generation finds a great deal of comfort in the technology of the internet, texting, blogging and such. It is a new way to find people who have common interests and values. I for one have never gone more than 12 hours without my iPhone. Now to my parents and the older generation, that might seem absurd, but that is just the way the world is working now. I have no doubt that if I just gave up my phone one day, life would go on. It is not a food item which gives nourishment, it has not the amazing healing nature of the vitamin D from the sun. What it does provide me is a way to be closer to friends and family that live across the country. It provides me access to the news, sports and weather that I love reading about. I have music which has the power to change my mood. I always have the Word of God at my fingertips. And now I never have to read a boring magazine while in the bathroom, I have the iFunny Application. So I am going to try my best to write and posts things daily. Some things might be interesting and lead to great discussions while other might waste your time and will lead to straight back to your math book or taking the garbage out. I guess only you, the reader, will have the power to let me know.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Just Once.
just once... I would like to find the cure.
just once... I would like to score at the buzzer.
just once... I would like to hold that winning ticket.
just once... I would like to be what he wants.
just once... I would like to run like the wind.
just once... I would like to be the leading role in that box office hit.
just once... I would like to know mathematical formulas.
just once... I would like to go to the Super Bowl.
just once... I would like to have a number one hit single.
just once... I would like to not be scared or failure, but see it as a way to improve.
just once... I would like to show that I do have as spine.
just once... I would like to be asked for my autograph and have it mean something.
just once... I would like to travel to any place I want to.
just once... I would like to be the expert on that subject matter.
just once... I would like to feel what its like to be perfect.
just once... I would like to see the view from an eagle's eye.
just once... I would like to drive a Lotus.
just once... I would like to be a chef in my own 5 star restaurant.
just once... I would like to write a New York times bestseller.
just once... I would like to be addressed as Doctor.
just once... I would like to scuba dive at the Great Barrier Reef.
if I don't get to do any of those things, then...
I just want to be the person that someone looks at and says, "just once... I would like to make a difference, like her."
just once... I would like to score at the buzzer.
just once... I would like to hold that winning ticket.
just once... I would like to be what he wants.
just once... I would like to run like the wind.
just once... I would like to be the leading role in that box office hit.
just once... I would like to know mathematical formulas.
just once... I would like to go to the Super Bowl.
just once... I would like to have a number one hit single.
just once... I would like to not be scared or failure, but see it as a way to improve.
just once... I would like to show that I do have as spine.
just once... I would like to be asked for my autograph and have it mean something.
just once... I would like to travel to any place I want to.
just once... I would like to be the expert on that subject matter.
just once... I would like to feel what its like to be perfect.
just once... I would like to see the view from an eagle's eye.
just once... I would like to drive a Lotus.
just once... I would like to be a chef in my own 5 star restaurant.
just once... I would like to write a New York times bestseller.
just once... I would like to be addressed as Doctor.
just once... I would like to scuba dive at the Great Barrier Reef.
if I don't get to do any of those things, then...
I just want to be the person that someone looks at and says, "just once... I would like to make a difference, like her."
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
New Year. New Beginnings.
my cry to God.
i love you!
Jehovah, You are mine, yet You are the same God of Abraham, Jacob, Moses and David. You show me Your glory daily. i can see You in creation and through Your word. i thank You for Your grace, mercy and unfailing love. i do not deserve anything You have given to me, yet You continue to give me more than i can fathom.
Father, i yearn to be even closer to You, to reside in the Shadow of Your wings forever -
God, show me favor in everything i do! Anoint my head and have Your Spirit shine through my words and actions.
God, i want people to see me and be intrigued by the way i live my life - that they may see that i am not living for myself, but for Your Kingdom and Your Will.
Jesus, make me a vessel to which You have entrusted with a powerful mission of courage, love and good will for others. Allow me to see my life as third behind You first and other second. Make me Your hands and make me Your feet - allow me to be the Fruit bearing branch that stems from the Only True Vine.
God, You are immaculate and beautiful - help me to fall even more in love with You every day! For every day i wake up, i live for You and it is one day closer to seeing Your face and being in You presence for all eternity!
Father, I thank You for Your word, guidance and wisdom in the Spirit. What a remarkable gift You have bestowed upon us with our Helper and Best Friend.
God, help me to look more to the Spirit, for You alone are my satisfaction. You alone can fill my God-Shaped-Hole in my heart.
i long to turn to you and see You there, with arms outstretched to welcome me into a place of rest.
Father, i am weary and tired from trying to live me life.
God, I give it fully to You - allow me to hold nothing back - take it all from me that You may allow me to seek only Your Will and not my own.
Father, make me weak to fill me with Your strength and power - for i cannot do THIS alone.
i need you.
i love you!
Jehovah, You are mine, yet You are the same God of Abraham, Jacob, Moses and David. You show me Your glory daily. i can see You in creation and through Your word. i thank You for Your grace, mercy and unfailing love. i do not deserve anything You have given to me, yet You continue to give me more than i can fathom.
Father, i yearn to be even closer to You, to reside in the Shadow of Your wings forever -
God, show me favor in everything i do! Anoint my head and have Your Spirit shine through my words and actions.
God, i want people to see me and be intrigued by the way i live my life - that they may see that i am not living for myself, but for Your Kingdom and Your Will.
Jesus, make me a vessel to which You have entrusted with a powerful mission of courage, love and good will for others. Allow me to see my life as third behind You first and other second. Make me Your hands and make me Your feet - allow me to be the Fruit bearing branch that stems from the Only True Vine.
God, You are immaculate and beautiful - help me to fall even more in love with You every day! For every day i wake up, i live for You and it is one day closer to seeing Your face and being in You presence for all eternity!
Father, I thank You for Your word, guidance and wisdom in the Spirit. What a remarkable gift You have bestowed upon us with our Helper and Best Friend.
God, help me to look more to the Spirit, for You alone are my satisfaction. You alone can fill my God-Shaped-Hole in my heart.
i long to turn to you and see You there, with arms outstretched to welcome me into a place of rest.
Father, i am weary and tired from trying to live me life.
God, I give it fully to You - allow me to hold nothing back - take it all from me that You may allow me to seek only Your Will and not my own.
Father, make me weak to fill me with Your strength and power - for i cannot do THIS alone.
i need you.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Hauntings
So here I am... 0300 and unable to sleep. Maybe I will write to keep my mind off things, however, the things on my haunt me, taunt me and carry me deep to places I dare not travel. Why not travel there you say? Because, there is a darkness that wants to trap me there. Thoughts carry my soul away to a place where there isn't even the faintest of light. The enemy tries to lure me there, to enslave my soul, place chains upon my mind so that I cannot reach Him.
These thoughts start small with little questions, "why?", "why not?", and "see?"... Then they start to get bigger by turning into "how could anyone?", "not so cool now?" "who are you without them?" But the worst thing I could do is answer these false questions. To think, "it's true" or "I am not needed" just gives the enemy that little bit of breath to snuff out my candle. My little light source that can make a dark room appear as tho it has been touched by the morning sunrise.
To dwell on these thoughts and ideas is just how my soul gets trapped into the dark, deadly mind game that the enemy knows all to well. The enemy knows me to well. But not as well as Him; that is why he attempts to lead me astray, so that I can not be under the protection of He who knows me better than i do.
So as I sit here, in my dark room, typing by the light of the computer screen, I ask of Him, my father, creator, mentor, guardian...
PROTECT ME!! I AM CRYING PROTECT ME...
from evil,
from the dark,
from the deep wounds of loved ones,
from anyone who plans to harm me... but mostly I ask YOU, LORD of my heart
PROTECT ME FROM...
me.
These thoughts start small with little questions, "why?", "why not?", and "see?"... Then they start to get bigger by turning into "how could anyone?", "not so cool now?" "who are you without them?" But the worst thing I could do is answer these false questions. To think, "it's true" or "I am not needed" just gives the enemy that little bit of breath to snuff out my candle. My little light source that can make a dark room appear as tho it has been touched by the morning sunrise.
To dwell on these thoughts and ideas is just how my soul gets trapped into the dark, deadly mind game that the enemy knows all to well. The enemy knows me to well. But not as well as Him; that is why he attempts to lead me astray, so that I can not be under the protection of He who knows me better than i do.
So as I sit here, in my dark room, typing by the light of the computer screen, I ask of Him, my father, creator, mentor, guardian...
PROTECT ME!! I AM CRYING PROTECT ME...
from evil,
from the dark,
from the deep wounds of loved ones,
from anyone who plans to harm me... but mostly I ask YOU, LORD of my heart
PROTECT ME FROM...
me.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Westboro Baptist Church
So here I am again readers, I took a little break to get my life in order. I have moved to Fort Benning and am about to embark on the next phase of my life as a soldier, both for Christ and for America. In doing so, I believe that my first plan of action is to shed a little light on a very dark subject. This being the subject of the theology and teachings of the Westboro Baptist Church. Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the WBC, they are the "church" that pickets military funerals, Christian colleges and anywhere else they feel like making an appearance saying that God has killed soldiers and doomed America because of our sinful ways. I have been to the website of this "cult" (I refuse to call them a church because they go against everything that Jesus said the church should be (loving, forgiving and light-bringing) and have found that their whole philosophy has more wholes than a block of swiss cheese. Paul, one of the most famous authors, brothers and teachers in the New Testament was an advocate for the church claiming that we were all one body under Christ. However, this WBC has raised itself above all other churches in the world and claiming their "holier than thou" ways.
On their website, titled "God Hates Fags" they site the verse Lev. 20:23, "... therefore I abhorred them". The use of an ellipsis at the beginning shows that they could not use the whole verse and thus taking scripture out of context to go with their thinking. What the WBC should be focusing on is the scriptures found in the New Testament that focus on the new covenant that Jesus brought. The whole verse in Leviticus states, "You must not live according to the customs of the nations I am going to drive out before you. Because they did all these things, I abhorred them." Here, God was talking to the Israelites about giving them the land of Molach and keeping a promise to his people. He was talking about a people who had never followed His laws or been redeemed by His love. God was not specifically saying this about homosexuals. God hates only evil, pure evil.
John MacArthur, a Biblical Scholar has answered the age old question on what God hates. It is listed below:
What does God hate?
Proverbs 6:17-19 lists seven things that God hates. In a Hebrew idiom used for emphasis, Solomon said, "These six things doth the LORD hate; yea, seven are an abomination unto him:"
1. A proud look
Pride is manifested in lofty eyes, which is the literal Hebrew meaning of that phrase. Someone who is prideful has his nose in the air and his eyes uplifted. When pride fills the heart, it is reflected in one's mannerisms. God hates people who disdain everyone and everything. The sin of pride is probably listed first because it is the root of all disobedience and rebellion against God (Rom. 1:22).
2. A lying tongue
God is a God of truth who cannot lie (Heb. 6:18). That He loves truth and hates lying is illustrated in the account of Ananias and Sapphira, who lied to the Holy Spirit (Acts 5:1-11). God took their lives as an example to the early church of His holiness.
3. Murderous hands
Verse 17 says that God hates "hands that shed innocent blood." God hates people with murderous, cruel dispositions who will kill rather than be denied or frustrated of what they want. God hates murder because He created life and established its sanctity. Therefore God ordained that when someone takes a life, he should pay with his own life (Gen. 9:6).
4. A wicked heart
God hates "an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations" (v. 18). It's bad enough for a person to do evil, but it's even worse when he plans at great length on how to do it. A wicked heart is the devil's workshop for devising new ways of sinning.
5. Mischievous feet
God also hates "feet that are swift in running to mischief" (v. 18). The difference between this and normal sinning is that normal sinning is described in the Bible as a falling or a tripping. But the mischievous person purposely runs as fast as he can--he's in a hurry to sin.
6. A false witness
Another thing God hates is "a false witness that speaketh lies" (v. 19). God hates people who put the blame on an innocent party. David, Jesus, and Paul experienced accusations by false witnesses (Ps. 27:12; Matt. 26:59-61; Acts 25:7-8). Bearing false witness obstructs justice, destroys reputations, and even destroys lives in some cases.
7. A devisive spirit
Verse 19 says that God also hates people who "soweth discord among brethren." Troublemakers create divisions where there should be unity.
The things God hates are in direct opposition to the things He loves: truth, goodness, and unity. Because He loves men to worship Him in truth, He hates idolatry and hypocritical religion. His hatred is the antithesis of His love.
Nowhere in these scriptures does is state that God hates fags or that he is killing American soldiers because of God's hate for people. God hates the sin, not the sinner. However, I do see that the WBC has a proud look with picketing, a lying tongue by twisting God's words, a false witness by putting blame on innocent soldiers and a devisive spirit because they have split of from the true canon and doctrines of what Christ designed the church to be.
I think that the Westboro Cult needs to read the Book of Revelation, Book of Isaiah and as they do such, I will do the one thing I do best. I will pray for God to touch their hearts, open their hearts and eyes and that the Holy Spirit will fall upon them to give them wisdom and understnading that instead of condemning the world, they need to look a helping to save it. I was sent here, we all were sent on a mission to futher the Kingdom of God, not destroy it.
On their website, titled "God Hates Fags" they site the verse Lev. 20:23, "... therefore I abhorred them". The use of an ellipsis at the beginning shows that they could not use the whole verse and thus taking scripture out of context to go with their thinking. What the WBC should be focusing on is the scriptures found in the New Testament that focus on the new covenant that Jesus brought. The whole verse in Leviticus states, "You must not live according to the customs of the nations I am going to drive out before you. Because they did all these things, I abhorred them." Here, God was talking to the Israelites about giving them the land of Molach and keeping a promise to his people. He was talking about a people who had never followed His laws or been redeemed by His love. God was not specifically saying this about homosexuals. God hates only evil, pure evil.
John MacArthur, a Biblical Scholar has answered the age old question on what God hates. It is listed below:
What does God hate?
Proverbs 6:17-19 lists seven things that God hates. In a Hebrew idiom used for emphasis, Solomon said, "These six things doth the LORD hate; yea, seven are an abomination unto him:"
1. A proud look
Pride is manifested in lofty eyes, which is the literal Hebrew meaning of that phrase. Someone who is prideful has his nose in the air and his eyes uplifted. When pride fills the heart, it is reflected in one's mannerisms. God hates people who disdain everyone and everything. The sin of pride is probably listed first because it is the root of all disobedience and rebellion against God (Rom. 1:22).
2. A lying tongue
God is a God of truth who cannot lie (Heb. 6:18). That He loves truth and hates lying is illustrated in the account of Ananias and Sapphira, who lied to the Holy Spirit (Acts 5:1-11). God took their lives as an example to the early church of His holiness.
3. Murderous hands
Verse 17 says that God hates "hands that shed innocent blood." God hates people with murderous, cruel dispositions who will kill rather than be denied or frustrated of what they want. God hates murder because He created life and established its sanctity. Therefore God ordained that when someone takes a life, he should pay with his own life (Gen. 9:6).
4. A wicked heart
God hates "an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations" (v. 18). It's bad enough for a person to do evil, but it's even worse when he plans at great length on how to do it. A wicked heart is the devil's workshop for devising new ways of sinning.
5. Mischievous feet
God also hates "feet that are swift in running to mischief" (v. 18). The difference between this and normal sinning is that normal sinning is described in the Bible as a falling or a tripping. But the mischievous person purposely runs as fast as he can--he's in a hurry to sin.
6. A false witness
Another thing God hates is "a false witness that speaketh lies" (v. 19). God hates people who put the blame on an innocent party. David, Jesus, and Paul experienced accusations by false witnesses (Ps. 27:12; Matt. 26:59-61; Acts 25:7-8). Bearing false witness obstructs justice, destroys reputations, and even destroys lives in some cases.
7. A devisive spirit
Verse 19 says that God also hates people who "soweth discord among brethren." Troublemakers create divisions where there should be unity.
The things God hates are in direct opposition to the things He loves: truth, goodness, and unity. Because He loves men to worship Him in truth, He hates idolatry and hypocritical religion. His hatred is the antithesis of His love.
Nowhere in these scriptures does is state that God hates fags or that he is killing American soldiers because of God's hate for people. God hates the sin, not the sinner. However, I do see that the WBC has a proud look with picketing, a lying tongue by twisting God's words, a false witness by putting blame on innocent soldiers and a devisive spirit because they have split of from the true canon and doctrines of what Christ designed the church to be.
I think that the Westboro Cult needs to read the Book of Revelation, Book of Isaiah and as they do such, I will do the one thing I do best. I will pray for God to touch their hearts, open their hearts and eyes and that the Holy Spirit will fall upon them to give them wisdom and understnading that instead of condemning the world, they need to look a helping to save it. I was sent here, we all were sent on a mission to futher the Kingdom of God, not destroy it.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Jack of All Trades
Throughout my lifetime, I have met people that have done one or two different jobs while in high school. They moved on to college, figured out a major and worked in that respective field. Upon graduation, they then got a job that related to their major. Teachers, nurses, reporters, professional students and MRS degrees. I have seen it all... however, in my life, I have noticed that this trend is not the path I have chosen. I will now take you on a journey of the different jobs I have had, different skills I have learned and my plan for the future (as if you did not know some of this already, just bear with me).
Age 15-16 (1999-2000): Food Runner/Porter at Lilac Lanes (I gave people their food, cleaned up their messes and rented lanes to bowlers)
Age 17 (2001): Carl's Jr./Hardees (I worked fast food for about month... DEFINITELY not for me)
Age 17-18 (2002-2003): Lawn Mower/Babysitter (pretty self explanatory... if you have questions, feel free to ask though)
Age 19-21 (2004-2006): Postal Worker at Whitworth University (I sorted mail and packages, sold postage, and did the mail run at the on-campus post office)
Age 22 (2006-2007): Whitworth Paint Crew (I painted dorm rooms and buildings on campus)
Age 23-24 (2007-2009) Skyhawks Sports Camps (I coached and directed sports camps for children ages 3-10)
Age 23 (2007-2008) Graduate Assistant (I filed papers, answered phones and was pretty mush a glorified secretary without the respect)
Age 24 (2009) Student Teacher (Even though this was and unpaid job, it was still a job)
Age 24-25 (2009-2010) Soldier in the US Army (I can shoot, choke people out, lead a group of soldiers through a war zone and figure out HR stuff)
Age 25 (2010) The Knitting Factory (I was a bouncer/event staff... pretty much, I threw drunk people out of concerts)
Age 25 (2010) Honda Manufacturing of Alabama, LLC (I am helping with processes and organization of mass production of the 2011 Honda Odyssey)
Oh, and on top of all these jobs I have two degrees... and BA in English and a MEd. in Secondary Education. I feel that God has blessed me with the ability to adapt to this world. God created me to be smart, studious and a quick learner. He has allowed me to learn many skills and to have many opportunities that will no doubt help me in the long run. I want to be a professional soldier (hopefully an officer) one day and I feel that every job I have had up to this Honda job and all the jobs I will have after will make me a better defender and leader of this GREAT nation.
Praise be to God, for His love and mercy ENDURE FOREVER!!
Age 15-16 (1999-2000): Food Runner/Porter at Lilac Lanes (I gave people their food, cleaned up their messes and rented lanes to bowlers)
Age 17 (2001): Carl's Jr./Hardees (I worked fast food for about month... DEFINITELY not for me)
Age 17-18 (2002-2003): Lawn Mower/Babysitter (pretty self explanatory... if you have questions, feel free to ask though)
Age 19-21 (2004-2006): Postal Worker at Whitworth University (I sorted mail and packages, sold postage, and did the mail run at the on-campus post office)
Age 22 (2006-2007): Whitworth Paint Crew (I painted dorm rooms and buildings on campus)
Age 23-24 (2007-2009) Skyhawks Sports Camps (I coached and directed sports camps for children ages 3-10)
Age 23 (2007-2008) Graduate Assistant (I filed papers, answered phones and was pretty mush a glorified secretary without the respect)
Age 24 (2009) Student Teacher (Even though this was and unpaid job, it was still a job)
Age 24-25 (2009-2010) Soldier in the US Army (I can shoot, choke people out, lead a group of soldiers through a war zone and figure out HR stuff)
Age 25 (2010) The Knitting Factory (I was a bouncer/event staff... pretty much, I threw drunk people out of concerts)
Age 25 (2010) Honda Manufacturing of Alabama, LLC (I am helping with processes and organization of mass production of the 2011 Honda Odyssey)
Oh, and on top of all these jobs I have two degrees... and BA in English and a MEd. in Secondary Education. I feel that God has blessed me with the ability to adapt to this world. God created me to be smart, studious and a quick learner. He has allowed me to learn many skills and to have many opportunities that will no doubt help me in the long run. I want to be a professional soldier (hopefully an officer) one day and I feel that every job I have had up to this Honda job and all the jobs I will have after will make me a better defender and leader of this GREAT nation.
Praise be to God, for His love and mercy ENDURE FOREVER!!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The Language of Prayer
Church of the Highlands is right in the middle of 21 days of prayer. An awesome occurrence that encompasses people getting to the church every morning at 0600 for an hour of prayer and worship to God. Today is the 15th day of this amazing journey and although I do not attend every morning (getting up at 0500 to get there can be a little rough), I have spent an hour a day in prayer with God. We, as members, have prayed for the harvest this fall in getting believers to the church and for the power of God to move in our state and our nation. I have also thrown in a few personal prayers and spent the time growing closer and developing a more personal relationship to God. Yesterday, though, I had a breakthrough and I cannot wait to share it with you.
Saturday, August 14th 2010... prayer starts at 0900 on Saturdays, instead of 0600 (which is awesome), but Madison and I still got up at 0630 so that we could ruck 2 miles before prayer, in order to prepare me for Air Assault School (I am crazy, I know it). After we rucked (in pretty good time I might add), we showered and got ready for an awesome time of prayer. We got to the church just as the prayer director was speaking and we found our seats. As I sat listening, my heart became troubled and I could not get into an attitude of worship or prayer. Once he got off stage, we started singing Jesus Messiah and my heart began to turn toward God and I was getting my prayer attitude back (thank God). After worship, we broke off by ourselves and had a half an hour of prayer time on our own before we came back together as a group to pray over the city. I went to my usual spot, which is up high and pretty secluded so that I can worship God, read aloud and pray aloud to my Heavenly Father without distracting anyone else. As I was pacing, I prayed for the people in my life to have boldness and courage when living a life like Christ and for my own strengths and weaknesses (praying thankfulness for my weaknesses because it makes me that much stronger in Christ) Paul talks about this same thing in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. All of a sudden God laid it on my heart to pray for the things of His heart, not mine. So I asked the Spirit of align my thoughts and prayers with that of Christ, that I may seek His plans and goals for my life. I also prayed for clarity when speaking and praying aloud to God, not to stumble over my words so that I may communicate clearly with God. I also asked the Spirit to reveal to me my prayer language (which is a special language given to each believer who has the Spirit as a way of my heart communicating with God in my own individual way). I wanted that special relationship and intimateness with my God, so I asked God to let His spirit come inside and fill me up.
Once we were finished, we gather that the front of the stage to pray over the prayer warriors there and for the city, state and nation, so that the harvest may be plenty. As I was praying with the speaker I felt overwhelmed, like I would not get my words out fast enough. I could envision what I wanted to pray, but the words were not coming out right. I stopped for a minute and thought to myself, why can I not speak clearly? So as I continued to pray in this unintelligible language, it became clear to me that it was my Spirit, my prayer language reaching out to God. Now, for all of you skeptics... a prayer language is very different from speaking in tongues. Tongues in Prophesy is the gift given to few, but everyone who is a believer has their own prayer language. Paul clearly states in 1 Corinthians 14:2 that if a person is praying in tongues, he does not speak to men, but to God... for they are mysteries from the man's spirit. Also in the Book of Acts Paul talks about receiving the Holy Spirit and what happens to a believers when he or she gets baptized with the power of the Holy Spirit. Every single person who TRULY receives the holy Spirit and earnestly seeks to become closer to God has a prayer language. It might be gibberish to others, or have an English accent or whatever, but it is your own unique connection and language with God. SO I pray that you seek out that language and connect with your Father on a whole other level, because let me tell you... it is amazing to be consumed with the power of the Holy Spirit.
Some other helpful verses for prayer:
Jude 1:20
Acts 2:1-5
Mark 14:32-38
Saturday, August 14th 2010... prayer starts at 0900 on Saturdays, instead of 0600 (which is awesome), but Madison and I still got up at 0630 so that we could ruck 2 miles before prayer, in order to prepare me for Air Assault School (I am crazy, I know it). After we rucked (in pretty good time I might add), we showered and got ready for an awesome time of prayer. We got to the church just as the prayer director was speaking and we found our seats. As I sat listening, my heart became troubled and I could not get into an attitude of worship or prayer. Once he got off stage, we started singing Jesus Messiah and my heart began to turn toward God and I was getting my prayer attitude back (thank God). After worship, we broke off by ourselves and had a half an hour of prayer time on our own before we came back together as a group to pray over the city. I went to my usual spot, which is up high and pretty secluded so that I can worship God, read aloud and pray aloud to my Heavenly Father without distracting anyone else. As I was pacing, I prayed for the people in my life to have boldness and courage when living a life like Christ and for my own strengths and weaknesses (praying thankfulness for my weaknesses because it makes me that much stronger in Christ) Paul talks about this same thing in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. All of a sudden God laid it on my heart to pray for the things of His heart, not mine. So I asked the Spirit of align my thoughts and prayers with that of Christ, that I may seek His plans and goals for my life. I also prayed for clarity when speaking and praying aloud to God, not to stumble over my words so that I may communicate clearly with God. I also asked the Spirit to reveal to me my prayer language (which is a special language given to each believer who has the Spirit as a way of my heart communicating with God in my own individual way). I wanted that special relationship and intimateness with my God, so I asked God to let His spirit come inside and fill me up.
Once we were finished, we gather that the front of the stage to pray over the prayer warriors there and for the city, state and nation, so that the harvest may be plenty. As I was praying with the speaker I felt overwhelmed, like I would not get my words out fast enough. I could envision what I wanted to pray, but the words were not coming out right. I stopped for a minute and thought to myself, why can I not speak clearly? So as I continued to pray in this unintelligible language, it became clear to me that it was my Spirit, my prayer language reaching out to God. Now, for all of you skeptics... a prayer language is very different from speaking in tongues. Tongues in Prophesy is the gift given to few, but everyone who is a believer has their own prayer language. Paul clearly states in 1 Corinthians 14:2 that if a person is praying in tongues, he does not speak to men, but to God... for they are mysteries from the man's spirit. Also in the Book of Acts Paul talks about receiving the Holy Spirit and what happens to a believers when he or she gets baptized with the power of the Holy Spirit. Every single person who TRULY receives the holy Spirit and earnestly seeks to become closer to God has a prayer language. It might be gibberish to others, or have an English accent or whatever, but it is your own unique connection and language with God. SO I pray that you seek out that language and connect with your Father on a whole other level, because let me tell you... it is amazing to be consumed with the power of the Holy Spirit.
Some other helpful verses for prayer:
Jude 1:20
Acts 2:1-5
Mark 14:32-38
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